Well, they said it wouldn't last...and hey, they (and by "they," we mean "everbody") were right! Seriously, we've all been expecting the Spederline split for so long, we could have saved ourselves some time by writing this story in advance, something like:
Britney Spears filed for divorce from her husband, aspiring rapper Kevin Federline, on [insert date here] in [insert city here] Superior Court. She is requesting full custody of the couple's [insert number here] children, Sean Preston, Jayden James, and [insert any additional offspring here].
By the way, we just love it that news reports still refer to K-Fed as an "aspiring rapper," despite the fact that he actually has an album out in stores. Anyhoo, there's one twist to this plot that we didn't see coming: That K-Fed (who from now on shall be known as Fed-Ex) suddenly wants to be a full-time proud papa to little SP and JJ. Yes, that's right--he wants full custody of the kids, and presumably the fat monthly child support checks that come with them. "Kevin is prepared to go the distance in order to do what he feels is necessary to protect and safeguard the children and will not be intimidated or dissuaded from pursuit of those goals," states his attorney. Hmmm...Fed-Ex didn't seem especially eager to protect or safeguard his children with his other, decidedly less wealthy babymama, Shar Jackson, but now, whaddya know, he's Father Of The Year. Funny how that works. Sheesh...Britney probably would've been better off staying with Jason Alexander. Anyway, in this custodial battle Fed-Ex may have a slight edge over his estranged missus, given that he wasn't the one seen driving with a baby on his lap or nearly dropping poor Sean Preston on his head. However, we simply suggest that, as an airtight defense, Britney's lawyer play Fed-Ex's aforementioned debut album, Playing With Fire, in open court. After reviewing that damning piece of evidence, it's unlikely that any judge will grant Fed-Ex even supervised visitation rights...
